Fools today, fools forever

(Denver, April 1) President Obama pledged today, "GM Hummers patrolling U.S. borders will never be made in Japan. Remember Pearl Harbor." The U.S. teleprompter-in-Chief also advocated Manifest Destiny South and a defensible border at Panama.

"Remember the Alamo, this is evolution! Adding a star to Old Glory gives America unfettered access to Mexico's beaches, natural resources, and hookers. They get our public schools and craigslist."

Europeans cheered.

Meanwhile, Colorado Governor Bill Ritter announced, "in-state tuition is available to everyone except Nebraskans." Citing amnesty and legalization as his 2012 campaign for the presidency evolves, Ritter made a single-digit peace gesture towards Nebraska, and pledged they will be allowed to cultivate medical marijuana.

"Pot will become available through fees, not taxes, and regulated to dosages benefiting less than four hours. For effects lasting more than four hours call your doctor." Ritter cited as legal precedent the dosage of Viagra but questioned whether the drug is performance-enhancing or recreational.

Perennial candidate Steve Schweitzberger, citing his need of added protection allowed candidates (due to something he said or will say) announced for governor proclaiming: "Giving education benefits to a trespasser is like setting the dinner table for a burglar, and Colorado can grow pot if Nebraska can."

Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, fearing loss of the cover of remaining newspapers, called Jay Cutler a "pantywaist" and said he will trade for a QB who abuses women or steroids, but not insulin.

Obama may abort the American dream

I have been looking for "the sign" that the good times are over for good. It came in a Denver Post headline: "Abortions increase in face of economy". Family planning has a new definition. In the words of country singer Merle Haggard, "Are we rolling downhill like a snowball headed for Hell?" Good ol' Merle said things would be better when Ford and Chevy made cars that last ten years like they should.

Gone are the days of procreating children to help run the family farm or business. The word "family" has been destroyed by cultural revolution. The most famous family today depicts a welfare mother prostituting the images of eight new babies. Now there is a retirement plan.

President Obama and Democrats will do what they want now that they can. It's frustrating. Plans for retirement for most of us now must consider a future of massive inflation to repay more debt than all the nations previous presidents had accumulated. Charge today! No payment till next year!

President Obama talks about the urgent need to pass his oversized-credit-card economic plan, some of which already passed without a chance to readthe fine print. Congress deserves a pay cut. Withdrawal is the new plan for the Middle East. Our Mexican border leaks immigrants and drugs, both of which are killing us in their own way. Shall we expect "amnesty and legalization" as a bold border plan? It would fit the mold.

Mortgaging a nation on "false appraisal" is worse than mortgaging our homes for 125 percent of speculated value was. U.S. taxpayers have been conned into bailing out bad-banking behavior. Our creditors have noticed. The Chinese are abandoning the dollar because they fear our inflation will erode their investments. The international Ponzi scheme has been outed.